I am weary, stretching thin. I want to take a break... a real break.

Confidence, Happiness, Purpose

I am plagued by an awful sense of indecisiveness.

Each impending decision sticks and sticks and congeals as i try to extract myself from one issue and end up landed in another. I have many to-do's but not the courage to put them together. It's too fearsome, I do not want to face it.

I can think of my decisions/to-do's as such:
1. Should I go to the party?
2. Should I take that decal?
3. Do homework
4. Prep for meetings
Simple enough...

But alas the real to-do's are a bit more frightening:
What kind of life do I want?
What should I do to reach my goals?
What are my goals exactly?
Do I really know myself?
Do I have the drive and tenacity to conquer obstacle after obstacle?

The matter of year off is in between --
What will I do?
Will this gamble pay off?

What should I do to become the best me, in the time I have on this earth?

I put these questions off. I am afraid to know the answer. I am afraid to explore my feelings... my darkness?

Why
Do I
Pretend
?